ZOMG SPIDER!!

So I just totally had a coronary over a huge fucking spider that was racing across my bedroom wall. My mom came to the rescue with the vacuum cleaner... apparently I make the most entertaining noises when I'm petrified with spider-induced terror. What I thought was funny, though, was that my mom was talking to my grandpa on the phone the entire time: "NO dad I am NOT going to buy her a damn shotgun.... ...I'm too tired to deal with this crazy bullshit, good night dad... yes I am hanging up on you... what? ...no, it's not dead yet...."
Suffice to say I would have been laughing, if I wasn't wheezing, squealing and frantically rubbing at little ghostly itches on my skin (phantom spiders, I'm sure), in pure horror.

Yes, I am aware that it is now hypocritical for me to tease my sister about her fear of spiders. But I really do think it was funnier to find her screaming bloody murder, butt nekkid, and standing on the bathroom counter, shrieking about a huge spider on the floor... MY spider was about, oh, five times as big. And hairy. With little brown, hairy mantibles that were scissoring rapidly as it came towards me...

I think, out of the three of us (me, the spider, and the cat, being the innocent bystander), my cat was the most frightened. She went and hid in the closet.